Defining Moments: Planting Seeds

I’ve always defined myself as Catholic— even when I was the kid sitting in the back seat of the car with my arms crossed on the way to Mass.

My defining moment came when the spiritual seeds planted in my youth took root in my heart and my faith began to grow.

That’s why I’m passionate about girls today getting to experience the youth program with Endow— so that seeds are planted in their hearts too.

I would sit in the back seat of the car with my arms folded, and maybe a little pout —staring out the window and letting my parents know that I wasn’t pleased.

My parents were very involved at church, and so I was right in step with them whether I wanted to be or not. Especially in my ‘tween’ years—it was just sit . . . stand . . . kneel. My faith was detached.

When I was a freshman in high school, my parents sent me on a bus trip to a university that hosts summer conferences on living the faith. And that’s where I really experienced Mass in a new way.

That Saturday evening I broke down crying as the Eucharist passed by. I was on my knees—and I had this profound experience of Jesus. I said, “Okay, Lord. I believe.”

For a long time I was analyzing and struggling—where I wanted to be and how I wanted to fit in. That was a defining moment when my faith moved from my head to my heart.

Now that I’m a mom, I feel a pull toward the school my children attend. I offered to volunteer, so the principal invited me to a meeting about Endow’s Girl Genius program.

She saw the potential for a more evangelistic approach to the faith.She wanted the middle school girls to have the small group experience with discussion.

The Girl Genius material is so rock solid. It does an amazing job of integrating activities that really are on their level and jump off the page for them.

I don’t expect to walk in and bedazzle these eleven-year-olds, but I want to connect with them. I’m going to meet them where they’re at, because once upon a time, someone met me where I was.

I always go in armed—I take my rosary bracelet and pray it on the way there. The girls don’t need me. They need Jesus. I’m just there as a rep, and having this little reminder rattling on my wrist keeps me mindful that I’m not alone.

I also take my Bible and show the girls—it’s like my spiritual scrapbook. I encourage them: “Make your Bible a place you want to spend time.” It’s so important to plant those seeds.

JENNIFER BAHAM FACILITATES AN ENDOW GROUP FOR CATHOLIC MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRLS STUDYING GIRL GENIUS AND IS THE RECIPIENT OF ENDOW’S 2012 JULIA GREELEY AWARD FOR HER SERVICE.

Defining Moments

I’ve always defined my life as pretty well organized.

I’m used to my own clean world and having things on schedule.

My defining moment came when I said yes to serving the women in an Endow group at a homeless shelter.

There, among abuse victims, prostitutes, and addicts, whose lives are in disarray,

I saw dignity revealed.

And I saw hearts transformed by the love of God—including mine.

That first night at the shelter, I showed up with a statue of Mary in one hand and an Endow study guide in the other, ready to facilitate a group of women who lived there. When I met the chaplain, Father Michael, he said to me: “You look terrified, Julie.” And I was.

I’m a suburban mom. I don’t frequent homeless shelters. So I really struggled to overcome the fear of being in one. It was so dirty and rough and raw—not at all what I’m used to.

When I introduced myself to the group, I said, “I’m just a mom.” One woman with a wig and perfectly painted nails responded: “Don’t ever say you’re ‘just a’ mom. It’s the most important job in the world.”

That’s how I met Yolanda, who has stage 4 colon cancer. She hopes for a miracle, but the shelter has basically become a place for her to die. Her suffering is unfathomable. Her four kids have practically abandoned her.

Another woman, Kim, had recently gotten out of prostitution. She showed a passion for spontaneous prayer and would say “amen” whenever she felt moved by something. So I asked her to close our group time with a prayer, and it was beautiful. She really spoke from her heart to Jesus.

These women revealed hurts about themselves that have been locked in a dark place for a long time. They became teachers to each other as they realized that their own personal stories really did matter.

As the weeks went on, the experience became less about me and more about watching the women’s hearts be transformed. We talked about dignity—and the women loved this idea, this truth that: “I am made in the image and likeness of God.”

I’ve learned to appreciate things in the sense that I’ve been given so much. God has been generous with me, not because he loves me more, but because he wants me to be generous too.

On the final week of our group study, Yolanda gave me a prayer book with the inscription: “Dearest Julie, never forget you are not ‘just a’ —but blessed with the highest calling for a woman, a mother! Always your sis in Christ, Yolanda.”

And it’s true: None of us is ‘just a’ … homeless person … prostitute … or mom. We are sisters united by the love of our Father in heaven.

 Names have been changed to respect privacy.

  This month—even today— would you say a prayer for Endow? And would you share your blessing through a financial gift?

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Something She had to Discover for Herself

I’ve always defined myself as a mother who tries to give my children what they need to grow up well-grounded. 

My defining moment was when my daughter started her freshman year at college.

As we stood there on campus, saying our goodbyes, I realized it wasn’t me who gave her the most important thing: her own faith in God.

That’s something she had to discover for herself. And I’m so grateful that Endow was there to help.

I watched as my daughter packed her rosary and her Bible and the crucifix off her wall.

One of her mentors had given her a little book about staying Catholic in college—and she put that in her suitcase too.

Abby has something I didn’t at her age: a sense that her faith is important to her. When I was in college, I never really strayed from the faith, but I didn’t really own it either.

It wasn’t until after I got married and had children that I truly began to grow in my faith. Several years ago, I was invited to learn about Endow and help form a study group. I figured I would help get it started and then bow out.

But when I started studying Letter to Women, I began to see the God-given significance of my role as a woman and a mom in my family and in society. It was life-changing for me, for my marriage, and for my family. I’ve kept going with Endow ever since.

I got Abby involved in Endow’s youth program in middle school and high school—because I realized how girls today are being bombarded with lies about who they are, the way they dress, the way they act, and what is expected of them. Abby learned that the beauty God created in us is so much deeper than that.

At school, she became one of the students who would speak up about these kinds of issues. During her senior year of high school, one of her teachers told me how well-grounded my daughter was and how she spoke up for her beliefs. And when she got into discussions, Abby knew how to defend her faith.

Abby has received so much from Endow—through me and my development as a mom, and through her own Endow groups.

After we got our daughter settled in her dorm, my husband and I dropped her off at the church for Mass before we headed back to the airport to catch our flight. For a moment, I wished we had the time to go with her. Then I realized it might actually be better this way.

It was hard to say goodbye, and yet I couldn’t think of a better place to leave Abby—walking into the church on her own.
Abby’s name has been changed to respect privacy.

 This month—even today— would you say a prayer for Endow? And would you share your blessing through a financial gift?

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